The Female Led Home (FLH)

What are Female Led Homes?

· Female Led Homes (FLH) are homes led by women and may include dependent children, other women and adult men. Home leadership from women had been with us for a very long time. Traditional male led relationships have often been limited to life away from home. Where women rule the roost, manage the home and even direct their husband when it comes to domestic things. Modern relationships have trended toward the partnership model among college educated people but the vast majority of relationships have been "traditional" male led. On the surface this seems a reality but after closer examination we can see that homes are often run by women who dictate in several areas of control. Women often lead at home in areas traditionally assigned to them, while men are relegated to a part of the home such as the garage. For the sake of study we have broken down Female Led Homes into these ideas.

  • Informal Female Led Homes where women assume leadership without the agreement of their house mates. Such as a woman asking someone who enters the home to wipe their feet or take their shoes off or taking control of decorating.
  • Specific role Female Led Homes - this may be as strong as the statement "you may rule out there but here in this place I rule" or "this is my kitchen." These take control of the home and make it their space.
  • Formal Female Led Homes where a woman assumes head of household - such as homes without men or where men have agreed to take a subordinate role in the home, and where men are transient.
  • Female Led Relationship Female Led Homes where women are the head of household and men formally acknowledge that and follow her lead.
  • Female Led Lesbian Homes - with or without children.

2010 Census Statistics about Female Led Homes with Children

· Approximately 84% of custodial parents are mothers; 13.7 million single parents in the United States today. That means 11.5 million women are leading their homes. 34.2% have never been married, 1.7% were widowed, about 45% are leading homes after of divorce. 27% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty. 39.1% of custodial single mothers are 40 years old or older. There are no statistics on women leading homes with adult men.

The Female Led Home as Head of Household (HoH)

· Head of Household is a status attributes to people who have at least one dependent. The status is both legal and cultural. Heads of a home often are the dominant member of the household. Heads of a home often are the main provider for the home. Heads of a home are often the main decision maker for the home in the areas of finance, and life direction.

Decision Making in Female Led Homes

· Decision making in any home may be subject to known and unknown unspoken rules. Women may make many kinds of decisions alone and may seek consensus for some kinds of decisions. The 5 Food Groups proposed by M. Lyman Hill; segregate the most common decisions people make into 5 categories: Finances, Free time, sex, household chores, and life direction. The decision making for each category may be handled differently from the others. Normally in single parent homes the decisions are made by the women HoH, but in the case of a man in the home under some or total leadership from a woman, any or all of these "Food Groups" may be controlled and managed by the woman and the man jointly or separately.

Female Led Homes and Divorce

· Because 45% of single parent homes are led by a mother, divorce plays a big role on female led homes. But divorce is not the only factor in forming FLH. Strong traditional roles place women in positions of leadership and often women just "take over" leadership.

Children in Female Led Homes

· Because women need someone to lead to become HoH, children are almost always in female led homes. This rejection or relationships and sometimes trading for different men is a cycles. Often women separated from the father of their children seek out another man to father the children and in many cases partner with them or take over leadership of the home.

Adding men to the Female Led Homes

· Female led homes often have adult men in them; where the man takes a subordinate role to the woman or women in the home. Often after a failed relationship women seem men to partner with. Because women differ in their desire for leadership their leadership role may change when a man is added to the home. Relationships may look more like a partnership, may look "unequal" such as she/he has a greater leadership role. Things change when men are added to the home even if the woman wants to continue to lead she may become subordinate, not knowing she could continue to lead the home.

The Female Led Homes and Wife Led Marriage

· There is a connection between Wife Led Marriage (WLM) where a man chooses for follow the leadership of his legal wife and Female Led Homes. In any home where a husband volunteers to follow the leadership of his wife the ideas intersect. To learn more about WLM click here. Aside from that connection Female Led Homes occur without any WLM required. Marriage and men are not required for a female led home to occur.

The Female Led Homes and Female Led Relationships

· There is a connection between female led "interpersonal" relationships (FLR) where a man chooses for follow the leadership of a women and Female Led Homes. In any home where men and women cohabitate and women are leading men the dynamic of female led "interpersonal" relationships also exists. To learn more about FLR click here. Aside from that connection Female Led Homes occur without any FLR required.



Can women really lead the home?
I don't think most women want to lead the home, they want a man to lead or at the least partner up with a man - right?

Rachel Morris
Columbus, OH

Most Women? is too big a number, many women seek equal partnerships but find their are really hard to manage. Some get lucky - Ding
Rachel there are so many ways to define relationships and people seem to make up their own definitions of how things are supposed to work. I think most relationships are not equal even when both partners want that as their ideal. - Emma
We are in the age of college educated women, damn straight girlfriend, women want to lead. Men have not gotten any smarter. - Brenda
Seems a shame women only get to lead after break-ups. - Reander


Empowered to lead
I am all for women leading men, men have botched the job so far and need to step aside.

Sue Anne Martinez
San Francisco, CA

Women should be empowered to lead if they want even in stable relationships - Pear
We need to rewrite text books and society to make this happen - Reander
My wife leads our home, no doubt about it - Raymond
There is a good deal to be said about empowered women, they are every bit as good of leaders as men, the women need to make their feelings known early in relationships so social traditions don't take over - Mike
We are already empowered, just do it! - Celia
Wow how does that work, men bashing and empowered women in the same post? - Fossy


The 5 Food Groups
Introducing Your Wife to FLR
Introducing Your Wife to FLR (SE)
Woman's Introductory Guide to FLR


About Female Led Relationships


→ Female head of household
→ Single parent head of household
→ Woman head of household
→ Dependent children
→ Subordinate men
→ Subordinate males
→ Life after divorce
→ Strategies for Women Leading Men
→ Tips for Women Who Lead Men
→ She's the Boss
→ She is the Boss
→ Bossy women